Friday, April 22, 2005

Spooky Sights of Spreydon

The House of Slime

There is
a house
in Milton Street.

They call
the House of Slime.

And it's been
the subject
of many a tale,
in the car pool
driving by.
(With apologies to The Animals)
Ffffaa fark sake! What is going on at number xx Milton Street? We don't know, but that hasn't stopped us having a few theories over the years.

It all started when mapguy came to work at The Department. Others had driven by for ages and had not noticed, but mapguy did. Something odd in the window of one of the houses on Milton Street. Something slimey and strangely disconcerting, yet reassuring in its reliability. Check this out.

The snail house of Milton Street

Can you see them? No?

Look a closer look.

What are those snails doing?

Yep. Those are ceramic snails. They face the same way all the time, but they are removed at night and put back again sometime after 8am each morning. Weekend's no exception.

What the bjesus is that about? We have theories alright.
  1. It's a sign to the householder's lover that their spouse is away.
  2. It's a sign to say the latest batch of crack is available.
  3. The householder likes snails.
  4. The householder is madder than Mad Jack McMad, winner of last year's Mr Madman Competition.
  5. None of the above.
Tell us what you think might be going on? Beats us.


Thursday, April 21, 2005

Not the “Gewurzt” job in the world…

Now I hesitate to post this lest I appear disrespectful, but when Pope Benedict XVI said in his first address he’d be a humble worker in God’s vineyard, I was intrigued. As a native German speaker, does he wish to generate a resurgence in the much-maligned Muller Thurgau variety? Is he partial to a bit of "Blue Nun"? Has the communion wine gone downhill a bit lately? Is this just a biblical reference, a figure of speech… or will his papal mission lead him to NZ’s Mission Estate?

As well as being a keen oenologist, the pope moonlights as editor of God’s newsroom, but don’t worry, there are plenty of jobs available for the rest of us. There’s still God’s hospitals, factories, auto sales, real estate…

Comfort to sue

What the fark does this tosser selling his hugs, think he is doing using my name? Comfort Hugs indeed!

Good on the person selling a Therapeutic Slap as an antidote to Comfort Hugs. I may bid myself, and then get Hugger Middleton to be the lucky recipient. Actually, I just did. And I'm the only bidder!


Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Da Bing's da thing

Gentle reader, on perusing this blog, you may wonder: "Where the #$%* is ‘Bingsland’?"

Bingsland is the old name for the Christchurch suburb of Richmond, home of mapguy, and just round the corner, yours truly. Bingsland is enroute from Comfyboy.

Hence the expression ‘Bingsland Express’ (carpool route through Bingsland). Also, ‘Bingsland bling’. In choosing to live in Bingsland, residents display obvious good taste and wealth. In mapguy’s case, this often takes the form of jewelry, and of course, his super pimped-up ride.

Bingsland was so named after Hungarian military man and stock dealer Morice BING, who was naturalised in NZ in 1871. Morice (even the first name is cool) bought land north of the Avon near Stanmore Rd, and sold off parts for building sites. After his death in 1878, the historic and attractive name ‘Bingsland’ was dumped for the royal sounding ‘Richmond’.

I say, ‘Bring Back the Bing’ and give Richmond that old zing. After all, I’m sick of my mail being re-routed to Richmond in Nelson.

What do you reckon?

Two for Tuesday

Two Ha!
That's two people we got to toot at while they were putting out their rubbish this morning. Both wearing bathrobes at the civilised hour of 8:15 am. It made my day and I'm sure it'll make theirs.

A truly significant historical map is up for auction. Published in 1507, it pre dates anything similar by a century. The map by Martin Waldseemullar is the first map to show the earth as a globe, first to show the Americas as two continents and the first to use the modern name America, after Italian explorer Amerigo Verspucci. Radical!
Get me an order form, a steal at 2 million $US

Speaking of maps, it's about time the Japanese took a look at a map and realised that the worlds whales ain't theirs to kill. The japanese whaling industry is about to present a proposal to the IWC to double their present "harvest" of 440 minke whales and to start killing two more species as well. check for a rundown on their latest dirty plan.
For a bit of balance you may like to check the Japanese whaling industries own propaganda at

Maybe we should rustle up some science that makes us a 50 million dollar profit, Kiwi for dinner anybody? It's traditional ya know.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Totalitarian Car Pool

This inspirational list is from the website - putting the 'eek' into EECA.

Tips for Happy Ridesharing

1. Be flexible in your arrangements. Make them work for everyone. You can arrange to rideshare or carpool one day a week or fortnight if that suits.

2. Set some ground rules such as:
Radio on or off - what station(s), Smoking or no smoking, Conversation or not, Mobile phones, Passengers reading or doing paperwork

3. Make arrangements for sick days, leave or emergencies.

4. Be on time, whether driving or being picked up. If you can't make it, call in PLENTY of time for others in the car-pool to make other arrangements.

5. If you are driving, make sure you have plenty of fuel in the tank and that your car is running well and is clean. No one wants extra stops on the way.

6. Don't make or request detours, e.g. for the morning paper or other errands.

7. Be considerate when it comes to your own habits and tolerant of others.

8. Come to an agreement in advance about sharing the responsibility of driving or for sharing fuel and parking costs.

9. Your car insurance cover is not affected by car-pooling.

10. Importantly if you are driving, drive safely. You are responsible for the lives of others.

FuelFools launch outta Bingsland

Wotcha! The FuelFools blog is live and steering its way outta Bingsland, heading for cyberspace.

Do you really want one of those boring introduction posts, trying to explain why this blog exists?! Eh? Well, do ya?!

Well, you ain't gonna get one. We started this blog 'cos we wanted to.

We, the car pool of Bingsland, release on the world our thoughts, machinations, and ideas. Take it. Or leave it.